It has been many years that I live in regret for the many roads not taken.
Those unlimited dreams I had, which made me a young boy, became just lost memories.
Even in the dreams in the nights, they didn't seem to be sweet but a nightmare instead, because I'm ashamed of letting them go. I thought I never had a real dream now. I try my best to love my planned future. However, sometimes I just can't get rid of them all. Being an artist is too hard for me, but I dreamed of being a art worker, and I'm sure it's much more practical. Nevertheless, I gave up to it as well. To be even more practical, I dreamed of being a software engineer, which to some extend is an creative job. However, finally I chosed to be a medical doctor, which might belong to one of the most conservative societies. Creativity is not included in part of the daily job. We follow many incredible rules, of which the names are too hard to pronounce. We follow guidlines and appreciate evidence-based medicine. We are taught to learn in our whole lifetime but creativity is just a little bonus to your reputation if you finally became someone who named the rules.
I don't know why I wrote this in English. Maybe, that's because I would make these grumbles as short as I can if I wrote in English...


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